Finding Your Light

So, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to end up saying here but lately I've had a lot of thoughts on my mind about privilege, the meaning of success, and living a fulfilled life.

I'm going to be a little vulnerable and honest: this past month has been difficult for me...not because of any external problem or even any situation. I've just been feeling pretty down about the way I am right now. I'm not where I should or want to be in terms of my spiritual life, physical health, and being productive with my time. There are a lot of things I need to work on to achieve those goals and right now it just seems an overwhelming amount of things to fix and I feel pretty unhappy with myself. That being said, I've been given an incredible opportunity as a summer intern at a company that a lot of my friends work at. I work full time and sit at a desk and take calls all day: pretty exciting stuff, haha. However, I've met some pretty cool people as well and that's something I love about new opportunities: meeting people from different places and backgrounds. Anyways, I was thinking about some things today and for some reason, I wanted to write a post about it because it's something I think I need to highlight for myself and for others: the crazed concept of success.

Does being successful mean you have a good paying job, a steady home, a car, and possibly a family? Or does it mean something deeper, something less tangible than any material thing......true joy, an uplifting and solid community of friends, confidence in oneself, using your talents to create beauty, working with people to contribute positively to society, etc...

When I listen to other people define success, purpose, or happiness, many times it is based upon very external things. However, in the words of human rights activist and author, Flynn Coleman, 

We need to get curious and creative about the world around us, about our careers, our relationships, what we love, what we want to do, and what we feel compelled to do. I often describe this path of discovery as trying to figure out your own personal intersection of what the world needs, what you love, and what you are good at.

I truly believe that sums up my endeavor for success. If anything, my goal is to explore the different facets of our humanity and diversity, connecting and learning from others’ experiences and obstacles, in order to truly make a difference in my own life and in the lives of others. As Martin Luther King, Jr. knew well, “life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” It’s in taking the focus off of us as islands and individuals seeking our own success that we can see that in helping others, we invest in a better future for all of us.

Being successful takes courage, discipline, and curiosity. It takes going out of our comfort zones to be present to the needs of others and of our society. What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel connected to the lives of others and pulls you away from self-doubt and negativity? I really believe a big problem with society is that we all try to show each other our best selves even when we are deeply struggling internally. No one wants to see the failures, the ugly and messy, the insecurities. And yet, that is what shapes and molds us as human beings. It is ultimately through our experiences and openness to vulnerability that we are most able to live freely. It's in allowing ourselves room to grow and feel the weight of our struggles that makes the journey that much more purposeful and meaningful. Our sufferings and insecurities hold so much worth. They make us resilient, courageous, and authentic.

Another thing I truly believe shapes success is our interior life. Are we able to sit alone without the constant pressure and stream of technology and think in silence? Do we give ourselves time to process our emotions and thoughts in order to constantly work on becoming who we want to be? It is essential to know who you are before you are capable of accomplishing your dreams. I've been practicing something daily that really helps this mindset for me: 

I think of someone I really admire and look up to and highlight three of their attributes that I love. I then write them down or put them in my phone and work on practicing those virtues daily. I think of who I want people to know me as, how I feel when I'm treated by someone I love, and then I try to reciprocate that into my daily life by treating others (even the strangers at Walmart and the gas station!!) with the same love and joy I crave to receive. 

Often times it is easy to act on our values when times are smooth. It is when we are faced with difficult conversations and decisions that our moral compasses are truly put to the test. 

Our purpose, our passion, our greatest story, comes from a series of decisions we make every day to align ourselves with the values we choose to live by. As Brené Brown said, “owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it…Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” This is the great work of our lives, to explore the darkness and to see that we all have light and dark inside of us. And believe me, we all have the ability to choose the light.

So, to wrap things up: success comes from allowing yourself transition time to grow, discover, and learn from your decisions. Remember, no one is perfect. We are all on this earth for a purpose. Once you start believing that and recognizing your strengths and weaknesses will you be able to live fully.

And of course, to tie in technology, time on social media is good to an extent, however, now more than ever, life is in the doing; the falling, the stumbling, the trying and trying again. In always standing up for what you believe in, creating what you believe will make the world a better place, even when you feel like the only voice in a loud crowd. So lean into those tough times, dig deep, and find the questions that you need to answer for yourself. Remember, life is finite and fast. The times that simple and easy will pass. Friends will move on. Little kids will grow up. Time is already overwhelming as it rolls over us like ocean waves without allowing us to catch our breath. Allow yourself time away from your phone to be present. To write. To live. To share in moments with people you love without the intrusion and pressure of social media. 

Ultimately, Eleanor Roosevelt said, “it’s your life—but only if you make it so. The standards by which you live must be your own standards, your own values, your own convictions in regard to what is right and wrong, what is true and false, what is important and what is trivial. When you adopt the standards and the values of someone else or a community or a pressure group, you surrender your own integrity. You become, to the extent of your surrender, less of a human being.” 

The only thing capable of standing steady and firm throughout the storms of our lives is the guidepost inside each one of us.