I'm Back :)

Hello, friends :)

Well, here I am again--after a full year's hiatus of MIA, I wanted to begin writing again and I thought this was a good way to start.

It's been a minute since I've given myself enough time to sit down and piece my thoughts together in an aesthetically pleasing word format that I share to the world. Every time previously since last year that I have tried to seriously write, there was a certain sense of fear in my heart when I thought about even the potential action of doing it. I would sit down, start typing something, and then completely delete it because I just couldn't hit publish. It was like I hit a barricade of some sort, and every time it happened, I just couldn't get past it no matter how hard I tried. And a big factor was time. I never had sufficient time, like ever.

But, I think the biggest thing I want to start writing about again are my thoughts, simply and plainly. I used to have no fear and could sit down and write to my heart's content no matter what the subject was and would hit the publish button and just leave my writing there for whoever wanted or was interested in reading it. Now, I have more hesitation...I have a certain dread of writing for other people to read; the world is in a constant state of motion, people are always loud about their opinions, and life is just happening so rapidly it gets exhausting. But, I really do want to write. I miss it. And I think it's a valuable skill and platform in and of itself. So here I am, giving this a second try, and I'm going to take it slow. I'll try to write a piece every week about an experience, a thought, a person or friend I love dearly, an amazing book I'm currently reading or have read, or even a daily lifestyle habit/goal I'm working on. If anything, this will be a hobby I take part in and try to foster, while hopefully strengthening some relationships with my "readers." Take it or leave it, I'll be here writing away on this little keyboard every week sharing whatever comes my way.

The first thing I want to sort through is my past year in Spain. I just lived through one of the most astonishing years of my life: there is so much I witnessed, discovered about myself and the world, saw, learned, felt, questioned, etc... I don't think I even have enough words to even scratch the surface to describe it all... but I want to try.

An important reason is because every time I see an old friend, a family member, or anyone remotely close to me, the big question is always: HOW WAS SPAIN!?! And deep down, I know the response "amazing!!" doesn't even come close to describing what it is actually like.. How do I describe the gut-wrenching feeling of learning a new language from basically scratch (LOL @ high school Spanish), witnessing a completely different culture than my own, trying new foods, making new friends, breaking down stereotypes and barriers, hearing firsthand stories of poverty and suffering, building a new wardrobe full of fun colors and styles, staying up til 3am having emotional heart-to-hearts, dancing my heart away with a room full of diverse individuals, getting engulfed in the ancient history and architecture of Rome, discovering London's incredible vibe and rhythm for the first time while bursting open a window into art and culture...and so so sooo much more...

I think every time I sat down to try to write about it, nothing came close to doing any of it justice so I just stopped short. But I want and need to get it out there.. It's sort of like therapy going through each idea, experience, or thought that I see as worthy and important. Plus, writing about these things gives me a clearer vision of what's happening in my heart and how I can become a better version of myself in the future. And the details I have in my mind can finally be given air to breathe and take flight after being cooped up in a jumbled up memory.

So here I am. Trying once again to piece myself together through my writing, giving myself the chance to open my creative side again and give space to my thoughts, in a public sort of way.

Take it or leave it :)